“Flying kites, jumping in puddles, climbing trees, lying in the grass trying to find shapes in the clouds, catching fireflies and dragonflies, running barefoot, playing in the rain, daydreaming, making mud pies, playing sports, riding bikes, dreaming Big”! That pretty much sums up the carefree days of childhood – and mine was no different. Childhood flew by to be replaced with the awareness and responsibilities of teens and growing years.
Then, marriage happened…pretty much a Bollywood style love story! I got married at the age of twenty and still had traits of childishness clinging to me. In real life, there are no markers between the different stages of life as such. One glides gently into the next role often without realizing that a new journey is beginning. Of course one knows marriage means a new life but it is only in hindsight that you know how much is going to change. For me it was a big transition as I was a girl entering a North Indian family from a South Indian one…completely different culture, traditions and mindsets. But the realization that irrespective of which community you are from and which one you enter, there is something that is common in all – love, respect, acceptance and the need of a heart and mind open enough to accept, is what helped me sail through.
Marriage, in the early days is very much like ‘playing home.’ There is joy in shopping for curtains and furniture for your brand new home. I remember the thrill of the very first sofa we bought! There is a fun in cooking, laughing over the mistakes, celebrating the small triumphs and in the sense of wonder of being in charge of your own household.
Soon followed the miracle of my first born, my daughter. Along with the wonderful awe of holding your baby for the first time in your arms, comes a solemn feeling of responsibility. I had crossed an invisible milestone in my life and something changed inside. The joys, the terrors, the sleepless nights, the delights of motherhood slowly transformed me from a carefree girl to a young woman who had learned to nurture someone else and put someone else’s needs constantly before her own. Two years later my son was born and the transformation was complete.
I was still passionate about life, fun-loving, pursuing my career and hobbies. However, my family came first and they made me happy like nothing else did. Looking back, I realize that I grew and learnt along with my family. Patience, time management, love, sacrifice, these are just fancy words till your children come along and make them real words. Words that become your values as you unconsciously start living them in your daily life.
While home and family have taken up a large share of my life and time, there have been several other things I have been pursuing. My love and passions revolve around music, art, food, books, nature and travel. I got the chance to resume my love for painting when I was pregnant with my daughter and was on a break from my job which further led to some exhibitions and winning a Mega Award at National level. I also write food and travel articles and currently working on my very first novel. I’m a professional baker and cake designer. My most thrilling moment was when I got a chance to design a cake ordered for megastar Rajnikant himself!
Apart from that I’ve been doing some amount of jewellery designing, craftworks, photography, etc. I have worked as a Corporate Trainer for almost thirteen years of my professional life and trained in many IT companies. Apart from these, I run a Linguistic Services Firm and also freelance as a Voiceover Artist and Soft Skills Trainer. Currently, I consult as a Nutritionist and a Fitness Trainer.
I believe that there is one life and unlimited things to learn and experience. So there is still a myriad of things I would love to continue learning and keep adding to my ‘to-try’ list. Here I have to mention that my husband has truly been my strength and best friend who has always pushed me to take the plunge and try what my heart desires. He has helped me to fulfill my dreams and aspirations at every turn. My two children are of course my constant source of joy and inspiration. Each day they teach me something new about life, about myself and they inspire me in ways that are hard to put into words. As a mother, I want them to one day grow up and be proud of me and that in itself is a huge driving force in a woman’s life, the example she sets for her children.
So what are my final thoughts in my journey so far? First and foremost, I take immense pride in being a Woman, effortlessly fulfilling the myriad of roles it entails – a wife, mother, daughter to two families….one that you were born in and the one you embrace after marriage, sister, and the emotional anchor of the entire household.
I cannot dole out advice to anyone for everyone’s life is different. A marriage and running a family isn’t a piece of cake by any means. Life is not going to be hunky-dory all the time. There will be ups and downs and quite a rollercoaster ride, but when you have decided to get on the ride anyway, might as well enjoy it irrespective of the stomach churning moments and the crazy thrilling moments and in the end, you never really regret an awesome ride….do you!
There have been trying moments in my life too but what helped me come out of it was the fact that end of the day, my priority has always been clear. My family is what matters and anything and everything I do, boils down to ensuring that I am able to achieve that happiness and peace in my home.
In two days my husband and I complete 14 years of marriage and few thoughts that I can however share from my experiences so far would be:
– As a couple, talk to one another – share your feelings. Share what’s going on in your life.
– Eat together, pray together.
– Open the door with a welcoming smile. Make a ritual of seeing off, be it your spouse or kids.
– Laugh a lot – create joyful experiences, no matter however small – outings, meals, simple walks or just a silly game together.
– Only one person gets to be angry at one time! If your spouse is upset, try not to get angry at the same time…at least don’t react no matter how tempted you may feel to break their head! But yes, get back later and talk it out. You are still not allowed to break heads! It’s okay to get angry at one another, but it’s never okay to disrespect each other for any reason. Do not let petty ego ruin the prospect of a beautiful relationship.
– Be there for your children – kiss them good morning, put them to bed, share stories, listen to their stories!
– Children learn by seeing and not by words – be sure you yourself act in the way you want them to behave.
– Give lots of love, all the nurture and care you put in, creates strong family bonds and all the love comes round to you again.
– Don’t forget ever to love and care for yourself too – treat yourself with love and respect, pamper yourself and tell yourself everyday that you are proud of who you are!
Before I conclude, I’d love to share this quote from Audrey Hepburn, a lady I truly admire –
“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love and her strength resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, the strength with which she faces every hurdle and the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”
Happy Women’s Day!